"what goes up, must come down, right?"

please stick with me on this one, its the most import blog ive ever written



i woke up this mourning, and made myself up, with everyone i had to please in mind, i dressed up as lyn-z because he said i looked cute. i found myself day dreaming, probably because i didnt have much sleep, or i had a lot in front of me. i wasnt happy, i couldnt figure out why. i have a gig tomarrow;guitar tech, i just learned how to play the pulloff section of the "dead!" solo at concert tempo, i had just finished producing an amazing song, and my brother asked me to write and do guest vox on his up comming song. everything i had thought would complete this happiness i was striving for, suddenly seemed, less pravailing in my life. was i being greedy? missing something? had i not thought this out enough? i was starting to feel like this would turn out to be a minor scale of what was yet to come.

With each days passing i learn something new about me, today; i only hear what i wish to hear, and i repeat it back, but i only remember everything i wish i could have forgotten. i know now that although ive been told over and over where my problems were comming from,and i denied them, they were right.

i cant fight these demons now, i dont have the streanth, im too tired, the show must go on, and i will continue to draw this smile on every mourning, for those who i wish to keep distant from me.

i will sing your words back to you, but that dosent mean ill comprehend them. although ive draw this in such rich detail, its up to your interpretation.


farewell for now
i must rest

"Let's mothball this shit baby...with one hour to spare."