You'll never catch me here.

Hero's come from unexpected places,
leaders arise deep from with in the ashes.
So come watch the crowd in awe.
The view from here is the best.

The masses gather in anticipation,
only to be let down.
The words their searching for,
come out mangled,
who will save them now?

Are you to far weak to take on this feat,
or is it the chance you might let them down.
Your itching out of this skin that you've been dying to get out of.
Afraid they'll see you in a different light.

Oh did you forget, i'm watching,
mimicking your every word.
isn't this what you wanted?
or is it not as great as you heard.

P.S- this one is for you, yes you.
hope i could spark some inspiration.

these wounds are temporary, nothing a little time cant erase.

It's the first time i cried in a while,
the first time i listened too all three mychem albums back to back in a long time,
first time i admitted to myself how much i am effected by my past.
I have everything that i want,
but it's not quite right.
theres something holding me back,
i fear the most what i think it may be.
i know what it is, i'm sure of it.
i cant wait for much longer,
fear theres no way out.
but fear is all it is.

it all tastes the same, just diffrent scenery.
i know now what those musicians ment by what they said, but i belived i was diffrent.
im not diffrent were all the same. were all looking for the same things, want to be loved, feel special, feel apart of something bigger then ourselfs.
one cant outweigh the others. thats what they ment.

im sick in the mind now, i remeber this cold room, this high, this release, this same story. the same story ive been serching for an ending for years now.
oh the strings ive been held up by have been severd for i had belived this was over.
i am just left to my own divices.

running in circles

i appologize in advance

To insure again by transferring to another insurance company all or part of an assumed liability, thus spreading the loss risk any one company has to carry.

Or D minor?

I sat back and watched, like a fly on the wall. The love and cheer in the air, it didn't phase me, sadly. All i could think about was my father, our functional disfunctional relationship built upon disappointment. A balence of trying to change each other for what we think is better, stopped in its tracks by stuborness at both sides. A constant tug and pull of ulteria motive and persuasions, ending in unmutualistic concequences. I stared into the fire, to keep time moving, and to keep my thoughts seized, for the monment.


P.S-We'll play it by ear.

C Major

I spent most of my time in mass day-dreaming.
Would we hold hands? Would we kiss at the end?
Should I wear that dress? What should I say?
I'm more excited than nervous, thursday is so far away.
I repeated every word you've said last night, back to myself,
I dont want to forget one monment.
I did learn one thing from mass though, i have gotten everything i had wanted this year, and christmas hasnt even come yet.


P.S- My favorite was: "I've been thinking about you all day.".

Weave this into what you like.

You seemed just as surprised as i was, and the melody kept repeating. I grined at how cliche this all felt, and how everything was falling in to place, finaly. I open my notebook only to find words that are so foreign to me now. Keys that I've never worked in, words I'd never think I'd say, they all come so naturaly.

You've taught me something that has changed me. Although I've heard it time after time, i didnt find it true untill now. I am fine just they way i am, what ever im wearing, what ever im saying, whatever im doing. You've shown me a new me, a me that im comfortable with, a me that isnt obsessive, or compulsive, or a underachiver, or a failure, ect.. Though i still have some flaws, you make them seem like my best assets.

I know whats to come, i cant wait!


p.s- could i be falling for you?

These words are all I have to hide behind.

Lets play a game.

You be the gentile, I'll be the ingenue.
I'll make the first move, you say the last words.


You Win.

No need to exsplain, I already know.

The bright colors seem to bleed into shades of grey,
fresh blankets of snow,
water stained,
pictures reflect back brighter memories,
that now escape me.

This christmas will be diffrent,
a mourning of things i must let go,
a celebration of things i left behind.

A lesson learned,
but all was a waste of time.
you were the best time i ever wasted,
those seconds,
the best of my life,
and for what again?

My reflection in the silver spheres relay a message i do not wish to portray,
but it will do for now.


P.S- I know you havent read these, but your latest work leads me to belive other wise. Thanks for listening, or not.

Oh baby, you play me so well.

Wonderfull concert last night, solo for me again? i love seeing you all dressed up, in your element, so focused. I enjoyed chating with your mother, even though it was about her, your mother is right Christina does lack alot of commen sence. The big week is comming up, im trying not to get my hopes up, but its so hard when ive been eyeing you for a while now. You keep me here, guessing, admiring, i dont mind at all, keep me here forever. Your too modest, but i love that about you. Dont change a thing about you or ill have to kick your ass.



P.S- I know what you wanted me to say, i just wanted you to work for it.

Burn this when your done.

i test things, boundries, trust, relationships, theroys, the whole ten yards. When im done, the out come is either "i knew it" or "they were right". I loose alot of things in the process, but i gain something with more value, wisdom. Even though i kinda knew to begin with, i needed to know first hand, foolish i say. Perhaps exsperience and wisdom arewhat i long to have, the earlier the better, get it over with and out of my system, so i know what i want early, and have plently of time to get it.


What ever IT is...


P.S. - So she doesnt see me as a threat?

Victim via valor.

Runaway with me,
anywhere,
far away from here. We
can
escape this all and
leave it in the
dust. Just you me
and the stars that
will guide us.
we'll call the family a few
miles down the road.
Tonight is what we make it,
tomarrow will be
the best day of our
lives.

Or you can just forget i said anything.